I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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