I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
