Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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