And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
