the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
