he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
