just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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