You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
