:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
