You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
