Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
