Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
