I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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