Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
