HIV tests are more positive than that guy
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
