I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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