she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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