I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
