What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
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