Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
