How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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