Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
May the power of my ass compel you!!
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
