We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
Is it because I queefed?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
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