Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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