I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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