he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
