I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
