Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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