i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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