whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I am available for nakedness
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
