bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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