I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize