I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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