So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
