11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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