When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
