Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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