My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
