You work out of a Hotel?
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
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