whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
