he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Randomize