God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
