Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
