So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
