I murdered the dance floor call the cops
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Randomize
