dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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