Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
We're using joints as your birthday candles
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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