and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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