these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
