It's like a parade of train wrecks.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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