I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
