Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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